Do you ever wonder whether this is it, this is all life has to offer? Mortages to pay and food to put on the table means that many people are stuck in jobs they don't like, often with horrendous commutes and for fourty years or more, we spend more time with work colleagues than we do with our families. We lose ourselves in our work, often feeling miserable, and then going home with no enthusiasm for anything.
Perhaps this is the way life is supposed to be. Hard slog with little reward, and then retirement at an age when you are too old to enjoy it. That is a depressing thought.
When I left school, I had no idea what I wanted to do, likewise when I left college. It is only recently I have worked out what I want to do when I am a grown up and part-time I am doing it. It is not enough.
I am not, nor have I ever been good at working for someone else, I do it because I have to. I always feel like I am trapped, unable to breathe, wading uphill through treacle and it makes me stressed and in a bad mood. I don't take orders well. Ask me to do something, and I will willingly do it; tell me and goodwill flies out of the window. The stress of having someone peering over your shoulder at everything you do, drives me to distraction and I like to be left alone to get on with what ever work I have. When you work for someone else, this does not happen. Sometimes too, your opinion of what is professional is not the same as that of the person you work for and this can lead to tensions in the office.
What I crave is freedom, freedom and the space to do my own thing. I would love to be able to get up in the morning and decide for myself what the day will hold. I had a period of unemployment a while ago, and apart from the financial strains which were many, there was a freedom which I had rarely felt before. It did not feel like the end of my life, but the start of the next chapter, and I promised myself that I would not climb back on to the hamster wheel. As things turned out, I was not able to keep that promise, and I am currently running on that dreaded hamster wheel, just trying to stand still. I am working hard at changing things, but for now the peddling and the stress continue with little more than a tiny speck of light at the end of a very long tunnel.
Perhaps this is the way life is supposed to be. Hard slog with little reward, and then retirement at an age when you are too old to enjoy it. That is a depressing thought.
When I left school, I had no idea what I wanted to do, likewise when I left college. It is only recently I have worked out what I want to do when I am a grown up and part-time I am doing it. It is not enough.
I am not, nor have I ever been good at working for someone else, I do it because I have to. I always feel like I am trapped, unable to breathe, wading uphill through treacle and it makes me stressed and in a bad mood. I don't take orders well. Ask me to do something, and I will willingly do it; tell me and goodwill flies out of the window. The stress of having someone peering over your shoulder at everything you do, drives me to distraction and I like to be left alone to get on with what ever work I have. When you work for someone else, this does not happen. Sometimes too, your opinion of what is professional is not the same as that of the person you work for and this can lead to tensions in the office.
What I crave is freedom, freedom and the space to do my own thing. I would love to be able to get up in the morning and decide for myself what the day will hold. I had a period of unemployment a while ago, and apart from the financial strains which were many, there was a freedom which I had rarely felt before. It did not feel like the end of my life, but the start of the next chapter, and I promised myself that I would not climb back on to the hamster wheel. As things turned out, I was not able to keep that promise, and I am currently running on that dreaded hamster wheel, just trying to stand still. I am working hard at changing things, but for now the peddling and the stress continue with little more than a tiny speck of light at the end of a very long tunnel.
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