Summer?

Today, has been glorious with beautiful, clear blue skies, hot sunshine and a cooling breeze. Summer seems to have been a long time coming, and now it is here, I hope it lasts.

I have not been in the best of moods this week. Various things have served to annoy the living daylights out of me. Top of the list, was discovering the full cost of the minor prang I had last year. The cost of repairs to the other parties car was under £1000, which I understand and can rationalise, but the total cost of the claim including personal injury and solicitors fees was the best part of £10,000. This is something which I find completely unacceptable. In almost 30 years of driving (and I am now showing my age) this is the only accident I have had which I have been held responsible for. This week, I received my insurance renewal and it has risen by 200% which would mean that the insurance is more than the value of the car.

This cannot possibly be right. There are two points here I find disturbing. The first is that as there is no way of proving whiplash injuries, and therefore no way of disproving them, insurance companies have their hands tied and pay out on claims whether they are spurious or real, then they pass on the costs to drivers like me. Which brings me to point two. How on earth can my insurance go up so high when I am not a careless driver and have had only one accident, and I have a protected no claims discount? I can understand that it might rise a little, but this is ridiculous.

The Government has talked about cracking down on sharp practices like this, and it won't come soon enough.

Lengthening Days

The days are getting longer, and today has been bright and sunny. Sitting here, and looking out of the window, it looks warmer than it is, and I would be happier if the temperature picked up a bit.

With sunny evenings, I get chance to let the cats into the garden for a while, which makes them happy. They do enjoy sitting on the shed and chattering at the birds taunting them from the trees. What they would do if they were able to get their paws on them is anyone's guess.

The weekend is here and although it was a four day week, it dragged. Of course, these two days will fly by and I won't know where the time has gone. I should be busy with the housework, but I have decided that today will be a day for relaxing and recharging batteries.

It is the Aintree Grand National today, but I can never bring myself to watch the race. I really do find it a horrible spectacle and I hope that there are no casualties this year. Ladies Day brings out some sights. Young women put on their glad rags, but usually look as though they dressed in the dark. Clones of each other, big hair, heavy make-up, tottering on heels on which no woman should walk, not an ounce of individuality among them. It will be the same next year!

Footnote: Sadly, like last year, two horses died today at Aintree.  Should time now be called on this race which costs the lives of so many horses? If it continues, then there needs to be some serious thought given to making it safer.

Spring Forward

I have a lurgy, which I think came north with friends last weekend, and which they forgot to pack again when they headed off. So, while the cats are outside enjoying the warmest weekend of the year, I am inside feeling somewhat sorry for myself.

Last night, I slept badly, blowing alternately hot and cold with plenty of coughing, and I learned that it is very difficult to cough with a full grown cat sitting on your ribcage. The trouble is that I could not have moved said beast without suffering from the death stare for a couple of weeks.

Tonight, the clocks go forward an hour,  and although we lose an hours sleep, we will get an extra hour of daylight which is great. It means that summer is definately on its way and I can't wait for the warm weather.

Bucket List

                          Algonquin Provincial Park

I have never made a bucket list - a list of things to do before you die, so I thought it would be fun to do a list of the places I want to see before I kick the bucket, or pop my clogs, take your pick.
The problem is that the list is fluid, and seems to change on an almost daily basis. There are a few stalwarts like Petra (visited last year so can now be struck off), the Taj Mahal (also seen), Venice, New Zealand, the Aurora Borealis (which I do know is not a place) and Bhutan, but as for everything else on the list today, tomorrow it will be different.

I would though, dearly love to see more than cities. I do enjoy visiting museums, art galleries, coffee shops, taking in the atmosphere of a city, sitting and watching the world go by, but for a change, it would be nice to see something of a country. I would, for example, love to see the "real" Canada, to hear the call of the wolf, to smell clean air and to be able to see the stars at night. There is so much light pollution here that it is difficult to see a single star. I know they are out there keeping company with the moon, but it would be nice to view them.

A few years ago, we had a family holiday in Canada, the second week on the edge of the Algonquin Provincial Park. The idea was that we would go on a wolf listen. Typically, the wolves had other ideas and had moved to another area and we were unable to go out and listen to them howling. In fact, it was a spectacularly unsuccessful wildlife holiday, we did not see so much as an elk. Every beast in the vicinity seemed to have packed a suitcase and gone on their own holiday, as far away from where we were as they could get, and frankly who could blame them?
I want an adventure, not the usual book a flight and hotel and go shopping or to a cafe (although coffee-less would be very bad indeed). I want to get off the beaten track, to wander aimlessly, to watch clouds scud across the skies, trees bowing before the wind, hear the echo of silence, see the stars at night, or the sun dip behind the mountains. These things you cannot do in the city. The cacophony of car engines, doors slamming, mobile phones ringing and people yelling, prevent the rhythms of the earth being heard. There is no stillness. Everywhere is noise and movement. We have become disconnected from our environment and from ourselves and we need to take time to stop and listen.

Light

Finally, there is light at the end of the day. By that I mean that at 5.00pm when I leave the office, the last vestiges of light are lingering and I can almost find my way to my car without falling down a pothole. It points to spring when the trees start to bud and flowers are beginning to wake from their slumbers. Spears of daffodils, and crocus are poking through the ground waiting for the warmth of the sun and I am coming out of my slump.

During the winter, my brain stops functioning properly and hibernation mode kicks in. It is hard to concentrate, and my enthusiasm for anything dries up. I want endless pyjama days which, of course, I don't get and I want to eat endless chocolate, something which I do sometimes give in to. About now, my spirits start to lift and my mental hibernation begins to come to an end and I feel generally lighter, as though a weight has lifted.

Apparently, in parts of the country at the moment, if it is cloudless, you can see the Northern Lights. Of course here with all the light pollution it is nigh impossible to spot such things, and in fact, you are lucky to see a star. A little further north, in Yorkshire, some stunning photographs have been taken of the Aurora Borealis in all their breathtaking beauty. Normally seen only near the Arctic Circle, these rare sightings are only possible because of a strong solar explosion. Catch them if you can.

Signs of Spring.

I was out early this morning to walk a couple of dogs. The trees were tipped with gold, grass crinkled under food and my breath hung before me in the air. It was beautiful and signs of spring were everywhere. I rang my first snowdrop. It was surrounded by tiny spears of crocus and daffodils poking out of the grass beneath a weeping willow.

It is ironic that the first signs of spring are accompanied by one of the coldest mornings of
this winter and I had to scrape the ice off the car for the first time. The trouble with mornings like this is that the sun is so low, it makes it hard to see. Still, I am not complaining, it is a glorious day. Blue skies and sunshine no matter how cold, serve to cheer me up. It is the way it should be, no grey skies and dark days, just beautiful sunshine which brings with it the hope of warmer, longer days.

It is days like this that sustain me through the winter when all I really want to do is stay in bed and keep warm. Although I do not take kindly to snow, at least if we have a blanket of white, it looks like winter should, but instead we get short, dull days with grey skies. The nights are starting to draw out, and there is still a little light in the sky when I leave the office at 5.00pm. The mornings too are lighter now which makes getting up a little easier.

Soon, the trees will be in bud and the geese will be flying north, landing on the field around the corner to rest before continuing their journey. They make such a racket flying overhead in triangle formation but they do herald a welcome change in the seasons.

Is this it?

Do you ever wonder whether this is it, this is all life has to offer? Mortages to pay and food to put on the table means that many people are stuck in jobs they don't like, often with horrendous commutes and for fourty years or more, we spend more time with work colleagues than we do with our families. We lose ourselves in our work, often feeling miserable, and then going home with no enthusiasm for anything.

Perhaps this is the way life is supposed to be. Hard slog with little reward, and then retirement at an age when you are too old to enjoy it. That is a depressing thought.

When I left school, I had no idea what I wanted to do, likewise when I left college. It is only recently I have worked out what I want to do when I am a grown up and part-time I am doing it. It is not enough.

I am not, nor have I ever been good at working for someone else, I do it because I have to. I always feel like I am trapped, unable to breathe, wading uphill through treacle and it makes me stressed and in a bad mood. I don't take orders well. Ask me to do something, and I will willingly do it; tell me and goodwill flies out of the window. The stress of having someone peering over your shoulder at everything you do, drives me to distraction and I like to be left alone to get on with what ever work I have. When you work for someone else, this does not happen. Sometimes too, your opinion of what is professional is not the same as that of the person you work for and this can lead to tensions in the office.

What I crave is freedom, freedom and the space to do my own thing. I would love to be able to get up in the morning and decide for myself what the day will hold. I had a period of unemployment a while ago, and apart from the financial strains which were many, there was a freedom which I had rarely felt before. It did not feel like the end of my life, but the start of the next chapter, and I promised myself that I would not climb back on to the hamster wheel. As things turned out, I was not able to keep that promise, and I am currently running on that dreaded hamster wheel, just trying to stand still. I am working hard at changing things, but for now the peddling and the stress continue with little more than a tiny speck of light at the end of a very long tunnel.